A Moment of Weakness, A Moment of Triumph

On Tuesday night, I had my first "I CAN'T DO THIS 'VEGAN THING'!!!" moment. It all began when I tried a package of "Chicken-less strips" from Trader Joe's with one of my favorite recipes, Chicken and Broccoli. I figured it would be a perfect medium to inaugurate my new vegan friends. Barf! They were GROSS! They were made of soy, and thus, tasted like biting into pure soy. It was gross, nasty, barf, ick. I ended up throwing it all out. And as someone who feels a large sense of guilt (and disgust) in throwing away food, I was highly concerned. I threw up my hands and wanted to give up entirely. Then I remembered my high cholesterol. "Sure," I told myself, "you can go back to eating meat, no problem. But your cholesterol will go back up again, too. Is that worth it?" I decided not, and that learning to like things will take a certain amount of trial-and-error, and that I'm okay with that.

On to a more positive note: everyone around me seems to be getting sick. The flu is going around COCC like the plague (although I probably shouldn't joke about the plague, seeing as though we had it here in Prineville last year...). I, however, feel great, and I owe it to my new diet, which is rich in antioxidants and vitamins. I get so much Vitamin C in a day that I wonder if I'll even get sick this year. I certainly hope not!! I'm also remembering to keep myself warm and get plenty to sleep at night. The latter is something I struggle with, since I'd rather stay up late watching TV -- but I know that I need to have enough sleep in order to be well. So I'm trying to curtail my TV watching at 9 pm. I think that's helping!

More later!


Weight: 180 lbs.

A Moment of Frustration: Venting

Today I'm feeling a bit frustrated, and it comes with a mix of emotions. On the one hand, I feel really good for the first time in a long, long while. My body actually feels "light" most of the time. I have energy (before, I was taking naps during most afternoons of the week, and felt sluggish when I was awake). But I'm not gonna lie: I thought I would have lost a lot more weight by now. Truth be told, I'm only down 5-6 pounds, and it's taken me a month to get there. Yes, I know this is healthy, and I keep trying to tell myself that 1-2 pounds per week is the ideal weight loss. 20 pounds in two weeks is NOT healthy. Still, I think about the changes that I have made in my diet, and I wonder how I haven't dropped a ton of weight from saying "sayonara" to sugar alone! When I think about it, I've gone from eating a TON of starchy carbs all day every day (not to mention the disturbing amounts of refined sugar that I ate on a daily basis) to eating mostly fruits and vegetables. How in the world has my body not shed pounds like crazy? I have no idea.

The upside is this: I AM losing weight, and I do feel better. I really need to focus on that, and know that becoming healthy is not something that will happen overnight. I will need to work on it.

In addition to eating better, I'm adding in regular exercise. This is surprisingly difficult for a couch potato like me. So I've cut some corners, too. I watch a documentary or TV show while I'm on my stationary bike, and when I'm in front of the TV or eating dinner, I sit on my exercise ball. Some mornings I do yoga.

Yoga leads me to another vent: I love it, even though it is a lot more difficult than I thought it would be (my picture of yoga was sitting, stretching, and saying "Om" a lot). In fact, it could be my favorite type of exercise ever! So why the venting? Because when I do stupid freaking down dog poses, my stupid freaking head starts to hurt, and I end up with a migraine. How do I rectify this? How can I do a Salute to the Sun pose without regretting it later when I'm on the couch with an ice pack? Gah!

Even though this is a downer post, I just needed a minute to vent. I'm still feeling so much better, emotionally and psychologically speaking, than I have in...well...I don't even know how long. I find myself smiling for no apparent reason. I'm just...content. That's the best side effect of my dietary changes. I feel GOOD, even optimistic, which is very uncharacteristic of me. But you know what? I think it's something that I will adopt for good. Being down all the time does nothing for my self-esteem or my health.

These changes are good.

What 400 Calories Looks Like

I love this graphic. This is one of the first images I saw after I made the decision (however subconscious) of going vegan.

And I've said it before, but I will say it again: I am so surprised that the amount of food I'm eating fills me up. I make a daily log of what I'm eating. This is what it looks like:


BREAKFAST: One glass of smoothie (a veggie-fruit concoction)
LUNCH: Second glass of smoothie
DINNER: Acorn squash + quinoa


That's it! Most days, I don't even snack. If I need to, I'll have a pear or a small handful of almonds, but other than that, I've only been eating what's listed above. Other things I will include are the following:

BREAKFAST: Carrot juice, cereal + coconut milk
LUNCH: Acorn squash
DINNER: Salmon and broccoli


Before I went vegan, I ate constantly throughout the day. My body was crying out for nourishment, and I finally feel like it is getting what it needs. I'll be glad when the headaches subside, but other than that, I feel better than I ever have before. I'm happier, I'm more energetic, and my body feels so good.

I'm loving being vegan!

Consequences of Bad Eating

I have been a sugar addict for most of my life. While chocolate wasn't one of my favorite indulgences, I usually didn't say no. A tradition in my family is for my mom to buy both my dad and me cordial cherries for Christmas. That was passed down from my dad's mother, and so Mom has carried it on through the years. That evolved into me creating my own Christmas tradition: eating the entire box of cordial cherries by the end of the day. For the past few years, I've said that I wouldn't do it anymore, but I've succumbed to the power of the sugar addiction. This year, I FINALLY broke that habit! In fact, I didn't even open the box of cordials until New Year's Eve. At that point, knowing the effect that sugar has on me, I allowed myself only ONE cordial at a time. I failed. I ate three. Augh. So I put the box of cordials in the freezer, out of sight. That has really helped a lot. Since then, I've only had one cordial, and guess what? I got an instant headache.

In fact, I've been getting instant headaches every time I consume refined sugar. I feel horrible, but it really is a good thing! If I know that I will feel terrible afterward, hopefully that will deter me from eating the crap in the first place!

Today I found a "cupcake in a mug" mix that my aunt gave me for Christmas. It didn't require eggs (which is good now that I have gone vegan), and when I started eating it, I immediately didn't really like it. It was chocolate with chocolate chips at the bottom. But it was spongy, too, which wasn't very appealing, either. I ate it, and then a few minutes later...you guessed it...I got a headache.

Our bodies do not want this extra stuff that our brains (and society) have taught us that we need. What's more, now that I am eating primarily fruits and vegetables, I find that I don't snack or even think about snacking during the day. I think that's because before I changed my diet, my body was crying out for nutrients (and to be nourished), which I translated as hunger. That's why I was constantly eating. Now that it is nourished with plenty of vitamins (I could still use some more fiber), I don't even think about eating between meals. It's amazing!

By the way...I'm down to 180 lbs now. I still have a long way to go, but it feels so nice to be seeing progress already!